Saturday, March 1, 2014

The gift of my sweet baby Brynleigh...

On Feb 26th 2014 I was caught in a bittersweet state and so I let my feelings flow.. But found I was even more grateful than ever that my sweet Brynleigh was in my life...

I debated all day on posting this but decided I needed to... for me. A year ago today I began miscarrying my little tiny baby Savannah over the course of 4 days, after three and a half weeks of knowing she had already passed away. It was heartbreaking and so very hard and painful to go through both physically and emotionally. I cried a lot then. And I cried today.. but not nearly as much. I know where she is and who she is with and what she is doing on the other side of the veil. That she is with her grandpa and great grandpas and grandmas and even uncles. I know she is with her brother Johnathan and sister Carolyne, that they together watch over my family. But in that sorrow I have great abounding joy and happiness too. On the anniversary of the day I found out that Savannah died, I brought home my sweet sweet surprise baby Brynleigh from the hospital and the pain that could have been was instead turned to celebrating. I'm so grateful to be given the wonderful joy and blessing of my sweet baby girl to hold near my heart tucked tightly in my arms. My Brynleigh has done wonders to help me through today and the other days this month associated with losing Savannah that could have been filled with deep sadness and tears but instead are now filled with incredible happiness. My Brynleigh has taken the brunt of the pain and sorrow away. Im still sad I lost Savannah and have shed a few tears today, but I'm so grateful a year later I get to snuggle my little Brynleigh close to me and remember with a softened thankful heart that I had my Savannah for a short whisper of time to love too. That my love is eternal. And I can still celebrate her brief life while I continue to find happiness, joy and celebrating in loving and cuddling her sister Brynleigh and in so doing feel that my Savannah is not so very far away after all...


My sweet baby Brynleigh at one week old. Oh how I love her!!!

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